The Carapace, the Armor, the Shell

Published in Geek Health by

Recently I reconnected with a friend I’d not spoken to in several years.  She and I came from a similar background, parents that just weren’t there, didn’t care.  We found ourselves both looking for love, filling that void, with the love or attention or affection of others.  We are both extroverts, quick to jump into a crowd, quick to say hello, but at the same time constantly wearing this armor, this face that we think we need to wear.

Will you like me if you really get to know me? Can I take that risk?

Will you like me if you really get to know me? Can I take that chance?

This past Sunday I was listening to Josh Lopez and the band at Community Bible Church (Check out Josh on Twitter @JoshDLopez).  What I was seeing in my mind while Josh and his band got the room hopping was this caricature of myself wearing this mask, this armor created by what I thought I should be.  Who I thought I should seem like, or who I wanted to be perceived as.  Going back to our Mr. Big Stuff post, the motivation from that comes from wanting to create a reality, instead of just letting reality happen.

I found what I needed within my faith.

I am truly blessed.  Not just lately, but looking back, nothing bad has ever happened to me that didn’t also come coupled with opportunity for growth, or even advancement.  Every trial was rewarded with knowledge or a new adventure.  Why isn’t that enough?

“The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light.”
Romans 13:12-14

I decided last Sunday to leave my armor at home, and to instead wear God’s armor.  That isn’t to say I am going to become the next generation of missionary, or suddenly dedicate my life to prayer and seclude myself away like a monk.  What that means is I’m going to let my heart guide me, and God protect me.  I worry so much about the thoughts and opinions of others when at the end of the day unless those people are hurting me directly, I need to just let that negativity bounce off His armor.

After @AliciaSanera‘s boot camp today we talked about how many of a businesses problems, are really just the problems of the owner manifested through the business.  If I have a flaw, if I have a weakness, that will become a weakness for my business.  If I let these weaknesses diminish me, if I let them hold me back and stop me from getting up and putting myself out there, I’m letting the fear of that armor being penetrated stop me from achieving what I want to achieve.

I choose not to let fear hold me back.  I choose to take that energy that I’m using to construct my own personal armor, and spend it on more worthwhile goals.  I will use that energy to learn more about my SEO tactics, and remain a student of web development.  I will use that energy to find those speaking engagements and follow up on those existing offers to share what I have learned.

I am where I am for a reason, and I now choose God’s protection before my own.  My armor I leave at home, His armor is with me always.

“Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”
Ephesians 6:11-12